


we're unique

by succ_ka_bvi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Babies, Happy Birthday Taeyong, Mother Taeyong, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:37:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/succ_ka_bvi/pseuds/succ_ka_bvi
Summary: Taeyong was a hoe,now he's a good mother.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> here is an example on how british families work : )
> 
> Also this isn't based off my family at all just some of the things the babies do are what my siblings and i did
> 
> only some (literally just the strawberry thing that's it)
> 
> oh yeah and ty and the adults are old af in this

Huang Xuxi, tall, quite obnoxious, but he is Taeyong's first child so he wouldn't swap the oaf for anything. Son of Dong Sicheng, a man who Taeyong once loved, cared for him and Xuxi up until they had their second child. 

Mark Lee, quieter, opposite of Xuxi. Also the reason Sicheng disappeared. The man couldn't handle two kids apparently. 

Then comes along Huang Renjun, the sweetest baby born yet, son of Lee Youngheum. A Thai man he'd met on Grindr, they clicked fast, he also left fast. 

A month later Lee Jeno is born. You see the pattern here? Anyway, the cutest baby yet, belonging to Kim Dongyoung, a man who Taeyong believed would actually stay. He understood him well, struggling with three kids already. Dongyoung loved kids, but something quite tragic happened to him. 

And with sweat and tears, Lee Donghyuck is created by him and Jung Jaehyun, a one night stand. The man that didn't want anything to do with this in the first place. 

Next was Na Jaemin. Xuxi and Mark were one years old by the time this flirty baby was born. Nakamoto Yuta, the Japanese man that comforted Taeyong when he felt low in the month of June gave him the wonderful baby Jaemin, but he couldn't promise the baby a life that included him. 

Once he'd had these kids, he promised no more to God, however, Qian Kun was the right man for him. After a year of dating, looking after the babies, they decided to have one of their own. And that's where Zhong Chenle appears. Loud, crybaby, also freaking adorable. The baby that everyone loved and adored in the family. 

Taeyong was finally stable. Was. 

Near the start of 2002, Park Jisung was born. Once Kun found out that this was the baby of Moon Taeil, he left him. Like Jung Jaehyun, Moon Taeil didn't want anything to do with these babies either, leaving him with eight kids for Taeyong to care for himself. 

You'd think he would've died by the time they'd all been through their terrible two's, yet you'd be surprised. 

Taeyong stands big and tall, with his oldest children being twelve, and his youngest being nine. 

During the end of the mother's great depression, he'd met Johnny Seo, a kind business man who was interested in Taeyong's life. And years later, they are married, with no kids to add to the already large list. 

So here they are now, Johnny goes to work most days while Taeyong stays in the house to look after all eight kids. 

†

“Mom, how are babies made?” Chenle asks, sat on the kitchen floor with Jisung counting the strawberries they'd picked from the overgrown garden. “Everyone at school is different to us. Are we weird?” 

Standing up, Taeyong approaches them. “We're not weird, Chenle. Don't let anyone say so. We're just unique.” 

“But that's what the teachers said.” Well now Taeyong knows what he's going to do later on. 

“Is that so? Don't listen to them.” Taeyong smiles lightly, ruffling his black hair. Behind that smile, he's pissed. No teacher can talk behind their backs like that. That's just disrespectful. 

Jisung pipes up, “But aren't we supposed to listen to teachers? They teach us teachy stuff.” 

“Yeah.” Chenle agreed. 

With a sigh, Taeyong stopped clearing around them. “Which teacher is this?” 

“Miss Lee.” They speak in unison. 

Miss Lee, the young bitch that has something to say about them almost everyday.

“Right, ignore her.” 

†

And the next morning, Taeyong picked up the phone, ringing the primary school. 

“Hello, Jungwoo Elementary School, how may I help you?” The robotic voice of a middle-aged woman speaks. 

“Hi, Lee Taeyong here, father of Zhong Chenle. Is there any chance that I could speak to Miss Lee? My son's teacher?” 

“We'll see what we can do.” 

With a pause, Taeyong glances back at the sleeping figure of his husband, deciding to walk out the room. He doesn't want to wake the poor man up with his yappy shouting. 

Suddenly, a high pitched voice speaks into the opposite end. “Hello, Mr Lee. I'm your son's teacher.” 

†

A couple hours later, Chenle and Jisung come skipping in. 

“You two look extra cheery.” Johnny says, coming from the kitchen. The two youngest boys giggle at Johnny's fake abs on the apron he's wearing.

“Mom! You saved the day! Our teacher apologised to us.” Chenle shouts, running over and hugging Taeyong. 

“Shes having the sack too.” Jisung speaks, walking over and joining the hug. Oops, Taeyong didn't mean to get her fired. 

“Your mom does know how to batter people.” Johnny chuckled, strolling over and joining the group hug. 

†

“Renjun, go away. This is Jaemin and Donghyuck zone only. Can't you read the sign?” Donghyuck sasses, peeking his head out the door. 

Renjun tries pushing the door open more. “But no one else wants to play with me.” 

“Exactly! Neither do we.” Donghyuck slammed the door shut, locking it in every way possible. 

Getting upset, Renjun yells, “Why are you so mean?!” Angry tears. “Why is everyone so mean to me..?” He speaks quieter this time, more to himself than anyone else. 

Jeno walks past with his toy airplane, ignoring the older's presence at first, but turning around once he heard sniffles. “Injunie?” 

“Wot.” He mopes in response, slumping his shoulders. 

“Why are you down? Come play with me.” 

Suddenly cheering up, Renjun runs after Jeno who began waddling down the hallway, creating loud thumps that shake the lampshade downstairs. 

Looking up at the ceiling simultaneously, Taeyong and Johnny both shake their heads slowly. 

†

Later that day, Jaemin approaches Renjun and Jeno. “Hyung, do you want to draw with me?” Waiting for a reply, Jaemin eats his chocolate bar, dropping the wrapper on the floor. 

“Hyuuuuuung.” He whines. 

“No.” Renjun crosses his arms. “I have moved on. I am a changed man.” 

Jaemin just looks at him weirdly, shuffling away. “Fine by me, twiggy.” 

Once the younger disappears, Xuxi high fives Renjun. “Way to go, man! You just beat him down! K.O! Wasted! You get me??” 

Renjun laughs lightly. 

†

“Mark?” Knock, knock. “Mark, I have your dinner here. Can I come in?” 

Groaning in the most dramatic way possible, Mark rises from his flopped position on the bed, stumbling over to the door and opening it. 

“Thanks.” He mumbled, taking the plate from Taeyong's hands and attempting to shut the door again. However, his mom's foot stops him from doing so. “Ugh, what??” 

“You better not be blasting that death metal music through your headphones again, you could damage your ears, y'know.” 

“It's called screamo, mom. You wouldn't understand.” Mark rolls his eyes, shutting the door successfully this time. Taeyong just tuts, making his way back downstairs, almost tripping on the train toy that had been left there.


	2. deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ha betch back again

Sighing, Taeyong makes his way to the top of the stairs. Why he sigh? You ask. 

“Kids! I'm washing hair!” The moment Taeyong dreads most. Walking back into the bathroom, the mother stands by the bath, picking up the showerhead and getting the water temperature just right with war flashbacks in between.

Then in comes a waddling Chenle. “I'll go first cause I'm a good boy.” 

Cooing with not much enthusiasm, Taeyong leads Chenle over, bending him over so the boy is leaning over the bath. Taeyong isn't bothered today. “I know you're good.” 

Chenle always goes first. 

Jisung walks in next, sitting near the doorway. Those two are inseparable. 

“I think my hair is okay.” Says Jisung, patting the top of his mushroom. 

“Nuh uh,” Taeyong starts, glancing over at the youngest child. “I saw you rolling around in the grass the other day. No way am I leaving your hair for today, Mister.” 

Beginning to wet Chenle's hair, the half Chinese stomps his feet a little. “Too cold!” 

“Sorry Lele.” Taeyong adjusts the taps before carrying on. 

“Wah! Too hot!” Chenle yelps. 

“Get it right, Mama.” Jisung sasses, backing away straight after when Taeyong threatens to get him wet. 

†

“I'm here!!” Taeyong knows it's Xuxi, from his shriek and the loudness of his feet. He never knew he'd have a son so massive. “Can I go next??” 

Xuxi reminds Taeyong of a puppy, since he loves baths and getting wet. “Of course. I'm doing Chenle right now though, wait in mama's room.” 

Running into Taeyong's room, he spots Jaemin and Jeno sleeping in the double bed. They look so cute. 

“Canon ball!” Xuxi dives on the bed, causing Jaemin to squeal and giggle, while Jeno cries. 

†

Giving Chenle a towel, Taeyong orders for his son to dry his hair before calling for Xuxi. 

Thump, thump, thump. 

In a flash, Xuxi was leaning over the bath, giving him a lopsided grin. Weird child. Taeyong begins wetting Xuxi's greasy hair, the younger scrunching his face up and letting out strange noises that don't sound human. 

“C'mon, Ji. Let's go.” Chenle patted Jisung's shoulder, pulling the youngest up. Quickly looking at the two, Taeyong notices that Chenle had made his own hat out of the towel he'd given him. 

“I'm not done with you, Jisung!” Taeyong calls as the two babies make their way down the hallway. 

“More!” Xuxi yaps excitedly. 

Taeyong continued washing his hair, mumbling out, “You're old enough to wash your own hair now.” 

†

“I'll just put dry shampoo in it!” Donghyuck whines, having climbed up the doorframe. 

Currently, Taeyong was washing Jisung's hair, after he'd struggled to catch the youngest and eventually having to strip him and sit him in the bath. And now Donghyuck was trying to argue with him. 

“Hyuck, you've done that three days in a row.” 

“And it's working, clearly.” It wasn't. “Besides, you said nits like clean hair! If I don't have clean hair, they won't come after me-” 

“Excuse me~” Jaemin sing songs, ducking to get in the bathroom. 

Eyeing Jaemin suspiciously, Taeyong asks. “And what are you up to, young man?” 

“I will have my hair washed next. I've been practicing, and I think I can do it by myself now.” Jaemin speaks proudly, side glancing at Donghyuck the whole time with a smirk on his lips. 

Looking between the two, Taeyong sighs. “You haven't fallen out again, have you?” 

“What??” Jaemin fakes a surprised face. 

“It's no argument,” Donghyuck speaks up. “We're feuding.” 

The two glare at each other long and hard, while Taeyong just watches them, not really knowing what to do. 

“My eyes!” Oh right, Taeyong had paused his actions, leaving the showerhead over Jisung's head and causing the youngest to drown in the shower water. Taking it away, Taeyong apologies quickly, popping the showerhead in the bath and grabbing another towel to dry Jisung's hair with. 

The perks of having so many sons means there's so many spare towels for situations like these.

†

After Taeyong had supervised Jaemin washing his own hair, the mom and Johnny swapped places, allowing Taeyong to relax while the dad washes the rest. 

“Next!” Johnny calls. 

In appears Jeno, giving Johnny a big smile and leaning over the bath. Yes, a good child. Nothing chaotic should happen now since Taeyong had already washed the hairs of the difficult children. 

And just as Johnny thought that, in came Mark with his shiny greasy hair covering one eye, making his head look twice as big as it already was. 

“Can you wait a little while?” Johnny asks while washing Jeno's (his favourite child's) hair. 

Glaring with one panda eye, Mark just watches them, practically a statue in place. 

†

In the end, Johnny ended up being tackled by Mark, shouting that he could do it himself and managing to get the floors and the walls soaks, almost causing Taeyong to cry in the process as there's more mess to clean up. 

And the parents thought that was the end of it, until it was eleven at night and all the family had gone to bed. There was a knock on the bedroom door, and in came a waddling Renjun, clutching onto his Moomin plushy. 

“Am I having my hair washed now?”


	3. this isn't an update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crying

just found a story with dad taeyong and seven kids and it's totally better and makes sense and is just 10000 x better than this. so go read it. 

 

i'm not linking it that's triggering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wahhhhhh

**Author's Note:**

> lol this is just some shit thing i wrote
> 
> also it's not clear how these children appeared so quickly and how they got that specific name even though neither of their parents had that name
> 
> ye it's meant to be that way ive confused myself too lol
> 
> ★ happy late birthday Lee Taeyong, the great leader ★


End file.
